The Hurricane Heist *

This disaster movie with a heist twist is, well, a disaster. 

Is it worth $10? No 

Sometimes you go to a movie that looks as spectacularly bad as “The Hurricane Heist” because you hope – with foolish optimism – that it’ll be just your kind of trash. Then you watch it and are reminded most trash is not the good kind. What you hoped would be campy fun is actually a global disaster of a motion picture. It’s not even so bad it’s good, which makes it even worse.

Will (Toby Kebbell) is a meteorologist. He’s chases storms in a custom-made truck that he calls “The Dominator.” He’s one of those characters whose gut tells him an oncoming storm is going to be bigger than the experts think, and of course turns out to be correct. Will’s brother, Breeze (Ryan Kwanten), lives in the fictional town of Gulfport, Alabama, which is where a Category Five hurricane is heading.

Gulfport is also the home of a U.S. Treasury depository that holds $600 million in cash that’s about to be shredded. The people in charge of ensuring the money is destroyed are Casey (Maggie Grace) and her partner Perkins (Ralph Ineson). Little does Casey know that Perkins and his team are planning to use the storm as a cover to rob the treasury. Can Casey and the two brothers save the money and themselves as the hurricane barrels through Gulfport? Trust me, you’ll never really care one way or the other.  

Gaps of logic and reality abound. Will never uses his windshield wipers in the driving rain. Sasha (Melissa Bolona), one of the robbers, is dressed like she’s going to a nightclub. Casey emerges from a fistfight in the finale with fewer facial bruises than she started the fight with. The brothers repeatedly reference a football play that has no significance, even metaphorically. There’s a scene in which Casey is inside The Dominator with the windows closed while Will is on top of a three-story roof. The wind is howling and guns are firing at them. He yells down to her. She hears him perfectly. We roll our eyes.

Then there are the winning exchanges of dialog:

Casey: I’m out of bullets.
Will: How’d that happen?
Casey: I shot them all. 

Some of this would be forgivable if the action and effects were stellar, but they are not. Early in the film Breeze rescues Casey by driving his car into danger and opening the door for her to get in. Not more than five minutes later, Will rescues her the exact same way. Not earning high marks for originality here. The rest of the action and effects are adequate but unimpressive, save for one scene in which hubcaps are used as weapons. That was cool.

For the record, please don’t interpret my description of “The Hurricane Heist” as “trash” as dismissively disparaging. Director Rob Cohen knows what kind of movie this is – nobody’s going for Oscars here. And just because it’s trash doesn’t mean it can’t be an entertaining guilty pleasure – it just so happens this isn’t one of those times.

Did you know?
The film was shot in Bulgaria. Go figure.