by Matthew Kaiser

If you fake being handicapped, shame on you

Like a pack of motorized cotton-topped buzzards, I watch as you gather at the front of the long movie screening line. Usually the same ten to fifteen, 65 years and older group of retired freeloading movie leeches are at every damn screening. I get it you are on a fixed income and this is a way for you to get out and socialize. I just have a hard time believing your movie tastes encompass everything from "Paranormal Activity" to "The SpongeBob Movie." Plus if you really need those motorized scooters to get around, which conveniently give you front of the line access, maybe you should keep the charade up and not park them, then climb seven levels of stairs for a better seat. If you’re going to fake being handicapped, at least play it out by sitting in the handicapped seats.

Read moreAsshole of the Week: Fake Handicapped People At Free Promotional Screenings
by Raven Darkholme

Your heart goes out to someone in need, but this hypocrisy is too much

Whoa, nelly! The inimitable gall of some people makes me wonder whether we are collectively becoming stupider/more arrogant/more entitled/more deluded with each passing day.

Enter this week’s Asshole: handyman Luis Lang. A self-described Republican, Lang refused to get health insurance under Obamacare when he was healthy. A smoker and diabetic, he also admits he didn’t take care of his health. Now, he’s got detached retinas, bleeding eyeballs, monkeys flying out of his ass, and no medical insurance. He will lose his sight if he doesn’t get a $30,000 surgery. Did I mention that he couldn’t be bothered to apply for disability benefits because “it takes too long”? It's not like he can't afford basic coverage -- he lives in a $300,000 house, and his wife does not work because she takes care of said house. 

Read moreAsshole of the Week: The Guy Who Refused Obamacare But Started A Crowdfunding Campaign To Pay His...
by Raven Darkholme

A discussion of the Sofia Vergara embryo battle with her ex takes an odd turn toward misogyny

There is no shortage of assholes on Fox News. In fact, I’m pretty certain that “assholery” is a necessary prerequisite for appearing on that network. Enter Keith Ablow, who meets said prerequisite in spades. Ablow is the medical team member and resident psychiatrist on Fox.  And, ladies and gentlemen, he really, truly, strongly believes that “men should be able to veto women’s abortions.”  Yes, you read that right.

So if we run with this Asshole’s logic, a rapist could potentially force an impregnated victim to bear his spawn. Moreover, a man could force a woman to bear a child even at risk to her own life and health. Yes, these might be “extreme” circumstances, but guess what: they exist and need to be considered before you make such a broad and ignorant declaration.

Read moreAsshole of the Week: Fox News Expert Who Believes “Men Should Be Able To Veto Women’s Abortions”
by Raven Darkholme

Life experiences have no educational value, apparently

It never ceases to amaze me how some people seem to know the cost of everything but the value of nothing (to paraphrase Oscar Wilde). 

Take Principal Rochelle S. Marbury of the Abington, Pennsylvania, School District. Principal Marbury objected to parent Mike Rossi pulling his kids out of school for three days to watch him run the Boston Marathon. Although Rossi advised the school in advance of this absence, Principal Marbury bitch-slapped (figuratively) Rossi by informing him that his kids’ absence would count as “unexcused” and could lead to a referral to a so-called attendance officer (whoever that is) and notice of violation of school attendance law.

Read moreAsshole of the Week: The Principal Who Doesn’t Understand The Value Of Education Outside Of School