Golden Globes 2015 Recap

We all know the Golden Globes mean nothing in regard to the Oscars, but that doesn't mean they're not a fun show to watch, especially with so many spray tans.

8:08 - Nothing special from Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's opening monologue, except two jokes: Emma Stone "Big Eyes" and Joaquin Phoenix actually being there. The "Would you rather?" was a bit of a stretch.

8:10 - Ha! Bill Cosby imitations are funny. And uncomfortable. Which are exactly what the Golden Globes should be.

8:13 - Why are Benedict Cumberbatch and Jennifer Aniston so awkward? J.K. Simmons wins supporting actor for Whiplash, surprising nobody. The Oscar for supporting actor already has his name engraved on it.

8:15 - These two are the stars of "Fifty Shades of Grey"? They have no chemistry and look awkward together. And she -- Dakota Johnson -- isn't that cute. Not so eager to see her get her freak on.

8:22 - Jennifer Lopez's tits nearly falling out. I want them to fall out.

8:23 - "Fargo" wins the Golden Globe for mini-series, which has to be a mild upset given that HBO's highly-touted "The Normal Heart" and "True Detective" were also in this category. Big win for FX TV, too.

8:25 - Sadly, Lopez's tits are still in her dress. McConaughey doesn't win actor in a miniseries. His beard is so awful tonight he doesn't deserve to win.

8:33 - North Korean "journalist" wants a picture with Meryl Streep, and it's taken by Michael Keaton. The Hollywood Foreign Press -- which votes on and gives out the Globes -- are notorious for this, and it's one of the reasons it's a corrupt and disreputable organization. This was a veiled, clever way for Fey/Poehler to take a shot at the hand feeding them tonight.

8:37 - This Gina Rodriguez chick nobody's heard of from "Jane the Virgin" beats four people everybody's heard of for actress in a TV comedy. Nerves are understandable, but the speech felt long after five seconds with all the boring "thank you's." Shut up and go away.

8:40 - "Transparent" wins best TV comedy series. To be "transparent," this means the cast must've taken more pictures with HFPA members than the other nominees.

8:49 - Johann Johannson johanns the johannson for original score for "The Theory of Everything."

8:50 - Why the hell is Prince so weird? He looks liked a coked-up member of the Jackson Five. Why does everybody slurp him up like he's so great? What the hell is so great about him? His music is good, not world-changing.

8:51 - Nice speech from Common as he and John Legend win for their song "Glory" in Selma. Kudos.


Find tickets and showtimes on Fandango.

9:01 - Matt Bomer wins TV miniseries supporting actor for "The Normal Heart." He's damn handsome. Props to Bomer also for showing love for his husband and three kids for all the conservative, religious world to hear.

9:04 - Ricky Gervais - drink in hand - can't help himself, and we love him for it.

9:06 - Amy Adams wins actress in a comedy for "Big Eyes." I haven't seen the film, but am thrilled to see the phenomenally talented Adams win.

9:15 - After far too much awkwardness and self-promotion from Kevin Hart (it's stuff like this that makes him Chris Tucker-annoying), "How to Train Your Dragon 2" wins best animated film. It was my pick for the best animated film of the year, so good choice here.

9:19 - Glad to see Patricia Arquette win supporting actress for the labor of love that was "Boyhood." She still needs to fix her teeth though.

9:29 - Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader are usually funny, but butchering famous movie lines is a tired bit and they don't do much with it.

9:30 - "Birdman" wins best screenplay. I'd be in favor of this if it weren't for the absolutely terrible, deplorable final scene that made no sense. Also, never a surprise when foreigners when an award that's hotly contested. This is the corruptible Hollywood Foreign Press, after all.

Michael Keaton

9:36 - The well-respected Jeffrey Tambor wins actor in a comedy series for "Transparent." Once again, cross dressing = award winner.

9:43 - Colin Farrell sports a creepy porn 'stache while presenting foreign film.

9:46 - Maggie Gyllenhaal wins actress in a TV miniseries for "The Honorable Woman." She's talented and has been doing great work for years.

9:54 - "The Affair" wins TV drama (it's on Showtime). I've never even heard of it. I'm a big "House of Cards" and "Game of Thrones" fan, for those curious.

9:59 - Kevin Spacey wins actor in a TV drama. He's great in "House of Cards," so this pleases me. He also gave props to the great Stanley Kramer, who made "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" and "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?". Very nice gesture from Spacey.

10:12 - Nice montage of George Clooney's work as he accepts the DeMille award (the Globes' "lifetime achievement" award), richly deserved for his body of work. Nice, humble, loving and gracious speech.

10:23 - Richard Linklater wins best director for Boyhood. Consider it a reward for patience.

10:26 - Ruth Wilson wins actress in a TV drama for "The Affair." She's British -- yet another win for a foreigner!

10:33 - Michael Keaton wins actor in a comedy for Birdman, which most definitely is not a comedy nor musical. It was a gutsy performance, and this is deserved. Expect him to be nominated for an Oscar as well. Nice speech too.

10:43 - Man that Channing Tatum is handsome. And talented. Quite a future he has.

10:45 - The Grand Budapest Hotel wins best comedy/musical. This is a surprise given that "Birdman" was supposed to win. "Hotel" is a real delight of a film, so it's nice to see it recognized. I will not be surprised if it gets a best picture Oscar nomination either -- it's clearly Wes Anderson's ("Rushmore") best film.

10:52 - Julianne Moore wins actress in a drama for "Still Alice" -- kudos to her for some bold work. With Simmons winning earlier, this is a good night for small studio Sony Pictures Classics.

10:55 - Eddie Redmayne deservedly wins actor in a drama for The Theory of Everything. He's British -- another foreign win! He's phenomenal in the film and absolutely deserves this.

11:01 - However old she is, Meryl Streep is an attractive woman. Boyhood wins best drama. It is also the clear Oscar best picture frontrunner. I still maintain it's a grand gimmick accomplishment rather than a great film, but it is substantial and impressive.

Not exactly an exuberant and hilarious night overall, but an enjoyable one.


Cron Job Starts